Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse in partner relationships…

Each of us has grown up in our own micro-culture of sexual understandings. What’s right, what’s wrong, when we should, when we shouldn’t…even who should and who shouldn’t. I talk more about these things in my sex section of my site. Sexual abuse is about power and control and abusing that power and abusing another person.

While sexually abusive acts are part of physical abuse, there’s a distinction between the two, as there is a difference in levels of control and power.

Sexual abuse is the complete control of an object, not a person; the person becomes the object.

See below and if anything below is happening, know that this is a MAJOR RED FLAG.

Sexually abusive behaviors…

  1. Coercing or pressuring partner into sex (by threats, extortion, or the use of a consequence)
  2. Forcing sex
  3. Forcing or coercing prostitution
  4. Forced pregnancy
  5. Having affairs or other sexually acting out (this is more abuse of the relationship itself)
  6. Humiliating or causing physical pain without consent–“rough sex.” We need to distinguish this from consensual SM/BD sexual expression in which both partners enjoy this expression.
  7. Intentionally infecting partner with STI, HIV
  8. Intentional becoming infected with HIV to control partner (look what you’ve done, you can’t leave me now!)
  9. Refusing to practice safe sex
  10. Unwanted sexual touching
  11. Withholding sex