Emotional Abuse

As I shared in the Physical Abuse section of my site, many people don’t know what physical abuse is, or even when it’s happening. This could be denial, or one may simply not know due to what I call the micro-culture that a person has grown up in (our families). (Also see the Physical Abuse section of my site for what I say about growing up in a micro-culture).Mental/Emotionally abusing someone often carries profoundly deep wounds that simply can’t be seen. A bruise on the arm or under the eye is easily spotted, but the bruise to the psyche of person, to a person’s sense of themselves, to the connection to themselves is much more difficult to spot. These types of abusive actions happens daily, and not simply by someone labeled a batterer, but by society at large, as we hurt each other often without knowing it. Below are some forms of psychological abuse.Mentally and Emotionally abusive behaviors…

  1. Attempting to control or dismiss a partner’s feelings (“Don’t feel that way”; “You should feel…”)
  2. Blaming the partner for things that are not his/her fault
  3. Calling partner names
  4. Constantly criticizing or humiliating the partner (you’re such a wussy, bitch, etc)
  5. Displaying weapons
  6. Finding faults and continuously expressing them
  7. Holding things over partner’s head
  8. Humiliating partner, either in public or private.
  9. Lying, manipulating and/or punishing the partner when s/he gets angry
  10. Minimizing feelings (Oh, that wasn’t so bad)
  11. Putting down partner (put downs)
  12. Refusing to talk with partner
  13. Ridiculing
  14. Shouting
  15. Silent treatment/Tuning partner out
  16. Slamming doors
  17. Stomping out of the room during conflicts with partner
  18. Swearing, cursing
  19. Throwing objects against walls, or on floors while partner is in the room in order to intimidate partner
  20. Trying to make partner think s/he is crazy
  21. Withholding affection

If my partner is doing anything on this list, this is a RED FLAG and it’s an opportunity for me or my partner to get some help with this! If I’m doing these things, I would consider attending an anger management program, individual therapy, journaling, taking walks, and just stepping out whenever I’m this pissed off. I would remember that the Anger Management and Individual therapy is a smart decision on my part. If my partner is doing these things, I have the opportunity to set up some BOUNDARIES, and if that doesn’t work, I may need to re evaluate my relationship, and even think of leaving…yes, this includes if I have children or pets.