The Season…

by Jim on November 26, 2013

In two and a half days, America will go shopping.

Unofficially the Friday after Thanksgiving starts the beginning of the holiday season for Americans. While this is a season that’s supposed to be of kindness and good cheer, what’s often not talked about is that this is also a season for being obliged or obligated.

Obligated to be kind, obligated to be friendly, and obligated to hide the real emotional truths that you hold in deep…rarely, if ever, to give them voice.

It may seem that anything resembling the sharing of your truths can evoke someone guilting you into feeling bad or wrong for actually feeling what you’re feeling, so you put on a plastic face.

Yes, I’m talking to you…to you, who for the holidays you actually may feel down, blue, or out. To you who are merely tolerating being with other members of your own family, or feel that you, yourself are just being tolerated by others.

And I’m talking to you, who may not have family, who are genuinely making it on your own, and you who feel excluded, outcast, or even not welcome this season.

You are not alone.

The fakeness of others that you may be experiencing is probably real. They genuinely may be faking or genuinely fake. AND. Since you (or I) aren’t going to be able to change this single handedly, here are some things that you CAN do to make it through the season.

Below I’ve created some STOPS and GOES.

  • STOP watching the news. Hearing about people assaulting others at a Walmart to get the new Xbox One isn’t going to help your mood. Also, hearing about others having some heart felt reunion may also bring up personal losses that you haven’t dealt with, so, for now, STOP IT.
  • STOP focusing on negatives. I just read a Facebook page where someone was having bad experiences with..something…the something doesn’t matter. There were comments after comments after just piling on on their negatives. While it’s important to acknowledge the negatives, STOP FOCUSING on them.
  • STOP playing games in your relationships. You can keep on blaming and putting the responsibility onto them. Maybe it WAS their fault, but I’m strongly encouraging you to STOP, look at your role, and YOUR responsibility. You have some. STOP PLAYING GAMES.
  • STOP lying to yourself. So regarding the New Years resolution? Just STOP IT. Stop making fake or unrealistic promises that you know you’re not going to do, keep, or go after. Also, stop lying to yourself about your looks, your abilities, your worthiness. You ARE attractive enough, you ARE able, and you ARE worthy.

Here are some GOES:

  • GO and take a walk, take a different route, go on a hike (yes even in the cold), start exercising (it genuinely does elevate mood…give it 30 days back to back and let me know). SO GO and move, take different actions.
  • GO and compliment you. Say nice things about you, to you. Yes, look in the mirror. SEE you. Say a nice thing about you. Make it real. Even if it’s the dorkiest thing or you think that it’s dumb that you’ve just come up with that, that’s what you give yourself credit for. SO GO and give yourself credit for something. Do it daily for the season. See what happens afterwards.
  • GO and surround yourself with people who are uplifting, who genuinely want to be around you, who genuinely get you, and who you genuinely want to be around. If the “other” in your life isn’t meeting your expectations. That’s not saying something about them, but about you. GO and surround yourself with people that you want to be around.
  • GO and BE WILLING. If you are not willing to acknowledge that things can be different, things won’t get different. If you are not willing to believe the truth that you ARE worthy, capable, deserving, then with that focus, you won’t experience those qualities that are already there inside of you. So be willing to accept your weaknesses, and, your strengths. Willingness is VITAL and KEY into making any change that you say you want to make in your life. If you’re not willing to make the change, the change won’t happen. GO BE WILLING.

So to all, a good winter season to you. You are the one to make meaning of it and no one else. If the season gets to be too much, talk with a counselor. The counselor doesn’t have to be me, just someone that you trust in. Of course I’d be glad to help, I’ll be around.

This is but one season, and one season of your life. Go into it knowing that you are going to make it through. 2014 is just around the corning. Plan something, anything, that you would like to make happen in the next year.  Make a new music Play list that inspires you to action (I’ve just made a new one for me)–and listen to it. Watch only comedies before bed, and regardless of what else you do, do consciously breathe in and consciously breathe out. Breathing is an excellent tool for living.


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