Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence/Partner abuse is a pattern of taking power and control over another person, your partner.

It’s not a communication problem. It’s a pattern, something that is repeated over and over, of asserting or gaining power and control over a partner through physical, psychological, and other means.

While men are the primary perpetrators of violence in a vast majority of male/female relationships, we have to look at this  differently in gay men’s & lesbian women’s relationships. The fact that DV happens in same gender relationships, I hope, gives us pause to not simply look at men as “bad.” Something has happened with the abuser in which power, domination, and control are the only coping skills that they know. I’m not talking about psychopathic personalities, and I’m not talking minimizing the behaviors.  I’m talking about people who’ve probably grown up in a violent or intimidating household, and for them, power and control is “normal.” It’s now time to literally re train the brain with more effective and adaptive coping skills.

Domestic Violence (DV) is about a pattern of controlling another person.

The most effective help for a perpetrator of violence AND for a victim of domestic violence is whats called group therapy. That’s where a group of either men or women get together and discuss alternative ways to resolve arguments and anger issues and attempt to fully own their responsibility for their own Actions • Thoughts • Feelings

What happens in a group setting is that I get the chance to see myself by seeing others who act like me. By seeing how others act and make decisions in a similar way as I do, In essence, I see me…by seeing them. If you have questions about Domestic Violence, please ask, please call, email or come in.

I was a domestic violence prevention facilitator at the Tarzana Treatment Center’s Long Beach DV program where I worked with individuals who were in or have been in domestic violence relationships. I was also domestic violence prevention facilitator at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, where I worked with individuals who were or had been in domestic violence relationships.

Please see my pages on the types of abuse that can occur in relationships.

Emotional Abuse     Physical Abuse     Sexual Abuse